Category: Joke Board
The Female Demerit System......
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do
something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any
points
for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the system is
set up.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed. (+1)
* You make the bed but forget the decorative pillow. (0)
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
* You go out to buy her what she wants. (+5) In the rain. (+8) But
return
with Beer. (-5)
* You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
* You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something. (+5)
* You pummel it with iron rod. (+10)
* It's her pet. (-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party. (0)
You stay by her side for a while and then leave to chat with a college
buddy.
(-2)
Named Tina. (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-20)
Tina has silicone implants. (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the
colors of your favorite team. (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter; you have one too." (-8000)
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response. (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what
looks
like a concerned expression. (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes. (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)
um, I do not go by that. lol but sure did get a good laugh.
Looks like there's no way to win. LOL
Hahahahahaha. These made me laugh. thanks.
Yeah Becky's right. hahahaha!
someone that's not me shood do the math on this to see what it comes out to be.
I'm not doing the math. lol
I think being yourself would score a lot of points. And being there when she needs you would really score a lot of points also. What do you think? lol.